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Showing posts with label Weird. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Weird. Show all posts

Monday, 11 May 2009

Southgate in Stupidgate scandal

Big game tonight, at the rear end of the Premier League.

Newcastle face Middlesborough in what looks like to be a relegation decider with just 3 games to go.

The funniest of thing of all, comes from a comment from Gareth Southgate, in what I call "Southgate in Stupidgate scandal"...

- "We are probably closer to survival than we were eight weeks ago because the tally needed to stay up seems to reduce every week." -

Hilarious. If his management is as good as his pre-match comments, you can be sure to witness a Shearer inspired 3 points today and Middlesborough in the Championship next season.

Monday, 27 April 2009

E is for Eddie, L is for Loser (Eddie Izzard Talking Politics, Bloomsbury Theatre, 27th April 2009)

Long winded title so apologies.

E is for Eddie -

Went to see Eddie Izzard Tonight at the Bloomsbury Theatre in Euston, London. Stopped over at the Bree Louise for a pint and half.

Eddie was joined by Ed Balls MP (Minister for Education) and Tessa Jowell MP (Minister for Sport, Arts and Culture). It was a political question time with Eddie playing the host role.

Only difference being there wasn't anything negative, except your normal Tory/Cameron political bashing.

Nothing really of note - Europe and the Olympics were the big talking points. Eddie is very passionate about Labour politics and Europeanisation that he had said he intends to stand for public office - I'd like to see him run against Boris.

Twitter was also mentioned - Ed Balls didn't quite get it, and one Tweeter has commented that Eddie should run against Boris Johnson for Mayor of London - and see the clown get beat by a real comedian.

Audio of Eddie Talking Politics here (my AudioBoo) - you can hear me laugh at one point!

Picture Gallery:
Picture 1
Picture 2
Picture 3
Picture 4

L is for Loser

Other than that, at some point between Bloomsbury and Euston I noticed I had lost my wallet - rediscovered it back at the Theatre!

On top of that, I lost my keys, too.

E is for Eddie; L is for Lucas - L is for Loser...

Sunday, 26 April 2009

Senses Fail Club Academy Gig Review 25th April 2009

Went train hopping to Manchester for last night's Senses Fail gig at Club Academy, supported by Deaf Havana and My Emergency (click links for their MySpaces!)

Before the Gig

We had the time to get a pint in at the Lass O'Gowrie after briefly revisiting the memories of Weston Hall - Titanic Stout for myself. All was looking up as Manchester United were losing 2-0 too.

Ended up at the gig early enough to sit outside Jabez Clegg for a sit down and discovering United had reversed the score to 5-2 by the end of the match! - I had the fortunate honour of being hit on - twice for lighter and where to get cigarettes. The girl was going to some Chav gig in another one of the Academy rooms, and looked a right tit since the way she said she came she had to pass a shop. More for my ego, I suppose.

Despite the epic queue stretching as far back as Coupland Street - 2 gigs on, so no joke here - I used my university connections to get in via the side entrance at the Union pub. I'm sneaky, but get away with what you can.


The Gig

It was all broadcasted on my Twitter, but I thought I'd put a blog here too.



My Emergency - typical scene band, but listenable.




Deaf Havana - the better of the three - a bit more like Senses Fail of old, with sscreamer lead vocal and singer/guitarist, nice 4 set.




Senses Fail - the band practically everyone came to see. As I was warned, they were your typical studio band. Having stood in front of the stage by the amp, could barely hear the voices in the songs. Some classics like "You're Cute when you Scream", "Bloody Romance", "Martini Kiss" were all played, and well as their newer, more whiner stuff.

The singer was incredibly dense. He told us that he was an American Cub Scout and there was some documentary of him or something on some channel in America, something about something called "Oxygen" (the channel I think), and to watch at 2AM GREENWICH STANDARD TIME. Tit. Anyway, we are on British Summer Time.

Also, he tried telling us stories of swimming pool parties - thinking we would all understand and that we all have swimming pools. We don't.

And for comical measure, despite admitting he was not a comedian he still saw something humourous in that Mayo squeezing out of a bottle had a striking resemblance to semen. I suppose it was fitting as I and Renate were probably the oldest there - too many 13 year old scene kids drinking WKD by the looks of things.

There was something good though - some guy at the front got kicked out for throwing people over the safety barrier - and plenty of crowd surfers tried to get to the stage but failed. The singer almost got pulled in too. Fun times.

In in all, gig was not too shabby and it was a nice leveller to have someone in Manchester with me who loves it as much as I hate it.

After the Gig

After the gig it was time for Relentless and the treacherous walk through Canal Street. Much to my dismay there wasn't any men in leather, but many uniformed army gays and dykes you could easily mistake for men, and men you could mistake for flat chested ladies. I managed to make up for the experience after though, and a 4 hour wait called at the National Express cardboard box awaited.

We managed to witness a coach driver getting near assaulted by drunken passengers, police coming in and some racially incited banter between some passengers or something trying to go home to London. It's amazing how absolutely leathered people get on a night out!

I had a rude awakening and encounter with the security guard when I went for a cigarette who was probably expecting me to be rude back - but he had a hard night. A short stop at Keele services for photo processing and a walk home ended the night.

I give the night a ***/5 - * for getting away with so much and the entertainment of people getting in trouble with the policia, * for the gig being bareable, * for the shits and giggles.



Ren & I (at Jabez Clegg)
See full Facebook photo album of the night here

Fun with my friend, but I'm tempting to just let my beard grow all Karl Marx like - I never get served like this and its embarassing! I'm 20 for crying out loud!

Tomorrow - essay hand-ins and Eddie Izzard in London. Roll on.

Fin.


Thursday, 16 April 2009

Football Manager - Male seeking Female?


I'm quite the social networker and I sometimes visit the SIGames Community Forums for Football Manager discussion. 

Anyway, I found a Football Manager singles thread (link here, you may need to be a member to see it) and found the below hilarious:


The thread continues with men talking about their frustrations of their significant other's lack of understanding with their love for the game (Football Manager, not football itself!) - and it all just reminds me of something I've had to deal with before, which became the following rant:



It 'ruins lives' apparently and is a silly little dot game. All in good humour of course. 

Now though, the game is a little less sexist - You can be a "female manager" now and there are, apparently, girl players of the game. It is too, a little bit more real - still dots but now a 3D view too, so all the more exciting. 

Of course, I would say that having played the game in its many versions since I was 8. It is true that it ruins lives, relationships and has been cited as a reason for a divorce (apparently)

Looking for a female player of this game must be very rare, and I must say I don't think it'll ever happen for those looking for it. 

Otherwise, it's probably best to lead a 'double life'...

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Stoke-on-Trent is now Snog-on-Sofa

Just left Stoke-on-Trent station for London Euston, and look what I found at the station. There appeared to be some filming going on, too.








Weird, but it made me laugh!

-- Post From My iPhone

Sunday, 22 March 2009

Toilet Scandal


Thought this was funny:

"A US firm is offering $5,000 (£3,450) for clues leading to the arrest of an arsonist who has been setting portable toilets on fire across San Francisco."

Read Full Article HERE

Reminds me of the investigation in my school years of the mysterious 'poo' toilet vandal. Some kid was apparently putting their poo and hanging on the toilet pegs as presents for people coming in to do their business.

Never did quite find out who that was...

Monday, 9 March 2009

Chimp pre-meditates stoning zoo visitors

Peter Singer would agree with me, (read copied article below), that this is evidence that we need to give Chimps rights, and maybe, also, we need to start making chimp prisons?:





Zoo chimp 'planned' stone attacks

Santino (PA)
Chimpanzees have long been suspected of planning ahead

A male chimpanzee in a Swedish zoo planned hundreds of stone-throwing attacks on zoo visitors, according to researchers.

Keepers at Furuvik Zoo found that the chimp collected and stored stones that he would later use as missiles.

Further, the chimp learned to recognise how and when parts of his concrete enclosure could be pulled apart to fashion further projectiles.

The findings are reported in the journal Current Biology.

There has been scant evidence in previous research that animals can plan for future events.

Crucial to the current study is the fact that Santino, a chimpanzee at the zoo in the city north of Stockholm, collected the stones in a calm state, prior to the zoo opening in the morning.

The launching of the stones occurred hours later - during dominance displays to zoo visitors - with Santino in an "agitated" state.

This suggests that Santino was anticipating a future mental state - an ability that has been difficult to definitively prove in animals, according to Mathias Osvath, a cognitive scientist from Lund University in Sweden and author of the new research.

"We've done experimental studies, and the chimps in my mind show very clearly that they do plan for future needs, but it has been argued that perhaps this was an experimental artefact," Dr Osvath told BBC News.

"Now we have this spontaneous behaviour, which is always in some sense better evidence."

Cracking show

Dr Osvath embarked on the study after zoo staff discovered caches of stones in the section of the enclosure facing the public viewing area.

Since the initial discovery in 1997, hundreds of the caches have been removed to protect visitors, to whom the caching and the aggressive displays seem strictly related; in the off season, Santino neither hoards the projectiles nor hurls them.

Ammunition pile (M Osvath)
The chimp stashed hundreds of stones in anticipation of throwing them

Most interestingly, Santino seems to have learned how to spot weak parts of the concrete "boulders" in the centre of the enclosure.

When water seeps into cracks in the concrete and freezes, portions become detached that make a hollow sound when tapped.

Santino was observed gently knocking on the "boulders", hitting harder to detach bits that were loosened and adding those to his stashes of ammunition.

There are a number of examples of complex behaviour in apes that suggest forms of consciousness.

Planning behaviour like that of the current work is connected to so-called autonoetic consciousness, where information due to memory can be distinguished from that from the senses.

"I'm personally convinced that at least chimps do plan for future needs, that they do have this autonoetic consciousness," Dr Osvath said.

"I hope that other zoos or those in the wild will look more closely at what is happening," he added.

"I bet there must be a lot of these kinds of behaviours out there, and I wouldn't be surprised if we find them in dolphins or other species."


Source - BBC



Thursday, 5 March 2009

Dissertations, Relationships and Moral Dilemmas

At Keele University, working and a girl comes over, asking me to complete a dissertation questionnaire for her friend on the impact of family relationships on your own personal, romantic relationships. And if you weren’t currently in a relationship, you had to relate to your most significant relationship. Not going to say anything too personal, but it was so entertaining for me I wanted to share. Yes, I know it’s a bit weird.

This proved to be quite the moral dilemma for me! But it was fun, I like filling in forms. I came to the conclusion that no matter how bad things may get, or end with a romantic relationship, they shouldn’t influence what you think in context of the relationship itself. Of course things are different after the relationship, but it’s what happened during that’s more important. If said relationship ends, learn lessons from it and get over it.

The questionnaire was stimulating, though asking some questions that can cause a bit of bias post-relationship. Still, looking back, I can’t say anything bad, proud of what was butI’m all over it now. Some of the questions even made me laugh.

As always, dissertation questionnaires are anonymous and confidential. It made my day though, that’s the important thing.

Now back to work…

Thursday, 12 February 2009

iPhone = iVibrator?

After jokingly texting my friend and telling him that while my iPhone might not have brilliant signal, at least it doubles up as a vibrator, I decided being to see if it actually can.

It appears the iPhone can do just that, and there is an application called Vibrating Massager on the App store available to download. Much to my amusement, one "Simon Smartie" commented it is great as a sexual tool, and there was another person bitterly dissapointed. Being so strange and funny I thought this was all worth sharing.








I of course found this hilarious. It's available for just 59p too:







If it's true what Simon says, it must be the cheapest sex toy known to man. There's definitely the question of whether it works in quite the same way though!



Still, just makes me wonder whether if there's a lot of claims on people's iPhone insurance for breakage from sexual misuse? I can't imagine the phone working after a while!






-- Post From My iPhone

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Northern Trains

Without Northern Trains I probably would not be able to make my 9am lecture on Wednesdays for German politics. Maybe a good thing. But to get there on time I need to get the 7:17 from Stoke-on-Trent.

Northern Trains, by comparison to XCountry and Virgin, are god awful to boot. The trains are like Arriva's, it's a cardboard box with tiny toilets, no desks or power sockets. And it takes a full hour to get to Manchester because Northern like to stop at all the little stations like Kidsgrove, Congelton, etc. What's the point when the pull of trains is that it's faster than a car? If I had a car I'd probably get there quicker than a Northern Train!

And that's a sad thing to contemplate. Not to mention the ridiculous times I have to wake up just to get there for 9am.

Most people are still asleep at this time. So for me, it calls for a blog, some relentless and reading the news on my iPhone.

I guess, putting it that way it's not all bad....


-- Post From My iPhone

Saturday, 31 January 2009

Blast from the past - Visual Voicemail on iPhone gone crazy!

Can somebody tell me how this is at all possible? My visual voicemail is exploding with the following:





To make it even more strange, these voicemail are dated 1st January, 1970!:





How on earth is this possible?

Is it Dr Who?

Someone messaging me through time? Across the space-time continuum?
From an alternate reality?

The funny thing is these messages don't play either.

I wonder what it is?!

-- Post From My iPhone

Saturday, 24 January 2009

Handjobs!









Look close enough, it says the BEST HAND JOB IN TOWN


... Just one of the many wonders of Stoke-on-Trent.

Need to get a picture of the Cock Inn in Leek next!...





-- Post From My iPhone

Friday, 23 January 2009

The next Terminator!







Arnie, now Governer of California!







Doug. If Terminator drinks, that is...


-- Post From My iPhone

I'm a Sven Lookalike






Sven-Goran Eriksson, former England Football manager, now Mexico Football Manager





Me. I look like Sven with a hat of course...

-- Post From My iPhone

Wednesday, 14 January 2009

Little's Disease goes Dancing on Ice!



A True Story:


Anyway. This morning I need to get to Manchester to get books. I got outside and it felt like I was on ice. I thought about turning around and forgetting the whole ordeal, but instead I called for a taxi.

I have Cerebral Palsy, which affects my mobility. To my extent, I have zero balance so it can get quite entertaining.

The taxi came but even though it was just a few steps away, I knew I'd have a job on my hands getting in. This proved to be the.case, as I skated my way to the car but fell, nearly ripping off the guys mirror in the process. Fun!

He was convinced I was drunk, which reminds me of a certain Josh Blue joke about the drunk tank.




"Nobody is on the road. They all gone home! Black ice!" He says in his Asian accent.

"Yeah it's like dancing on ice out there. I gotta get to Manchester. Hope I don't fall over again." I replied.

"Well I don't know you nearly broke my mirror. It's loose!"

"Im sorry" I said, nearly pissing myself laughing.

"I always tell people not to drink, I don't know." says the driver.

I nearly burst out in more laughter, but I didn't bother explaining I have Little's Disease (CP).... It seems my Stevie Wonder 'blind man' shades didn't serve as a warning either... Shame.

To make matters worse, it feels like I've wet myself. Turns out my can of relentless exploded on impact when I fell over! So I smell of energy.

I'm glad there was no one around to see it. Though it certain was worth paying to see!





EDIT: Also, after getting to University Library, I discover that my glasses are broken (again), presumably by the fall from getting into the taxi.

FUN!


-- Post From My iPhone

Monday, 12 January 2009

They call me Luke! That's not my name!

Like the song... Shame it doesn't rhyme....

Some people, well most I know call me Luke.

But, since 2007 in June I legally changed my name to Lucas by deed poll, as I didn't quite like Luke and it just reminded me of bad things. Out of respect, I kept my middle name, Peter, because I did realise some people might be upset. For the same reason, I changed it to Lucas as it is essentially the same name but in it's Latin form.

Some people have never really quite accepted this but a few things come to mind when I think about justifying why those of you should refer to me as Lucas rather than Luke. One family member, upon learning of the name change, asked me in a phone conversation whether I would eventually go back to it or not.

Considering the hassle in changing my name - including a problem with registering at my university because of it - I won't. Changing my my name may only be cosmetic, but it certainly makes me feel better about myself. Changing it via deed poll carries the same legal status of changing your name due to a sex change, or more commonly through marraige. I wouldn't think of calling a male-to-female transexual by their male given name because that is not how they identify themselves. By the same token, I wouldn't call my sisters or my mother by their maiden names, because that is not who they are.

Direct examples of people changing their names for cosmetic purposes include Paul Gascoigne - to G8 before changing it back if I remember rightly - and also one of the people I admire, Alistair Cooke. Now Paul Gascoigne, or Gazza, aside you wouldn't think of calling Alistair Cooke by his birthname.

So I wonder why do the same with me?

I'm no different. I'm Lucas now, so get used to it.






There's a picture of me from 1st September, 2005 in Ruby Tuesdays.

I miss the hair.

And I love the red.

One of the things I've realized lately.

And above all, I'm Lucas, not Luke.

-- Post From My iPhone

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

Bermuda Triangle and Strange Discoveries....

My glasses I thought I lost turned up in the Bermuda triangle that is my bedroom.

So I wonder: why do things always turn up when you're not looking for them?

I feel such a fool for buying that pair now...


But at least the new pair are better than the old pair!

-- Post From My iPhone

Sunday, 28 December 2008

For Macca and Kim: Giant Goat burned down (again)

Macca and Kim, have said that if I were to be any animal, it'd be a Goat. I snore like one, apparently! I found this bit of news very funny and it made me think of you guys, so here you are:



Gavle goat
Authorities in Gavle had tried to fireproof the goat

A giant straw goat erected each Christmas in a northern Swedish town has been burned down - yet again.

The 13m-high (43ft) animal in Gavle has been torched 23 times since it was first erected in 1966. It has also been hit by a car and had its legs cut off.

The vandals are rarely caught, though in 2001 a 51-year-old American tourist spent 18 days in jail after being convicted of setting it alight.

In 2007, the goat managed to make it through the festive season unscathed.

Goat committee spokeswoman Anna Ostman said this year's unlucky creature was set on fire early on Saturday morning.

The 7m-long (23ft), three tonne goat was originally designed to attract tourists to Gavle, which is 106 miles (170km) north of the Swedish capital.

GOAT HIGHLIGHTS
1966: The first goat is burned down - beginning the tradition
1970: It is set on fire six hours after being erected
1971: Tired of arson, the project is abandoned. Schoolchildren build a miniature. It is smashed to pieces.
1976: A car crashes into the goat
1979: The goat is burned down before it is finished
1987: The goat is treated with fireproofing - but still goes up in smoke

But in its first year it was burned down on New Year's Eve and since then has been attacked regularly.

In 2005, it was torched by two arsonists dressed as Father Christmas and the Gingerbread Man.

Authorities in Gavle have tried to protect the goat using fireproofing chemicals, security guards and a web camera.

But just 10 of the goats, which are built in the town's central square, have survived beyond Christmas since 1966.

Goats have a special place in Swedish tradition. According to folklore, they delivered festive gifts before Father Christmas took over.


So it would seem that Goats are very important. They snore but they also give out festive gifts.
I almost feel cool to be called a Goat.
God forbid I ever go to Sweden though, or I'll be burned to death or smashed to pieces by vandals or a car.
Amazing!

Jet!

I realise it's 7AM. But I woke up 4 hours ago after a bad dream. With Vale playing the Dale today, I need to stay awake.

I went to Jet, and bought:





Relentless!





Snickers ice cream.


Mmmm. The joys of single life and going mental. I can go to Jet at 7AM in the dark, buy crap and sit on the street alone like a bum and indulge.

Whey.

And there was no point to this at all. I'm just bored!
-- Post From My iPhone

Saturday, 20 December 2008

Baby has body parts removed from brain

Logged into MSN when I came home, and found this bit of news that I found rather entertaining to the thoughts:

"A two-month-old baby boy had surgery to remove a foot and other body parts from inside his brain shortly after his birth."




A rare case of 'fetus in fetu', apparently. It has been known in some cases for an entire human-like fetus to develop inside the body of another. Interestingly then it be considered alive but usually at the risk of the host body. I wonder if that constitutes murder, manslaughter, abortion, or what?

One to ponder, I think...